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I started Fortified Leadership because I am passionate about helping people become stronger… stronger leaders, stronger friends, stronger dads, stronger moms, stronger spouses, stronger sons, stronger daughters…. So far I’ve written about how successful leaders channel their inner toddler to be stronger in the 10 part series titled The Toddler Executive (April 12th – July 22nd). I’ve also written on the topic if self-awareness as the first step to being stronger with “You’re tail light is out!” (August 2nd) and “A strength over-utilized…” (August 16th). While self-awareness is the critical first step in becoming a stronger version of yourself, it isn’t the only step. It is only once you go through the cyclical process of shifting your mindset, engaging in developmental activities then further shifting your mindset, that you will experience transformation. It’s a lot like working out. You do an exercise and it causes your muscles to adapt and grow. You then add more weight, more reps or make the movement more complex in order to further stimulate the muscles and create additional adaptation. Over time, this process will create a physical transformation. Personal and professional development is no different. With all that said, the next few posts will cycle back and forth between the topics of mindset shift and development. Today, we’ll talk mindset….

I had just moved into a new role working for a high profile executive. My assignment was somewhat of that of a chief of staff for the Executive and would afford me the opportunity of working directly with an extremely talented leadership team. My first few weeks in the job were tumultuous. In one conversation, the Executive said “I need you to be 3 steps in front of me and at this point you are 5 steps behind. If you can’t get up to speed I will find someone who can.” There was no ramp-up time… it was hit the ground running or find a new job. BTW, we had a newborn at home which raised the stakes a bit… no stress though right?

Until this point I had been what most companies would deem a “hi-po” employee meaning I was thought to have high potential for leadership roles in the company. As a “Type A” personality, I had excelled in most things I had done in my life so this experience of being “on the ropes” was unfamiliar and uncomfortable to say the least. I knew I needed to do something. First, I updated my resume 😁. However, I really enjoyed working for the company so this step was just me preparing for the worst given the recent new addition to our family. I also didn’t have a desire to leave in disgrace as a failure. Therefore, my second task was to crack the code of being successful in this role… I had to find a new way of operating.

As I thought through my difficulties I kept stumbling over the narrative that this wasn’t my fault. My mind kept saying things like:

“This guy’s expectations are just crazy… totally unreasonable!”

“How am I supposed to know what to do? Mind-reader WAS NOT in the JD!”

“No one trained me for this!”

All of these thoughts placed me in the role of victim. While this may have felt good for my ego, it wasn’t going to help me succeed. I needed to change my mindset and my approach.

My first course of action was to identify help. I was clearly missing something and l didn’t even know where to start. The guidance my predecessor had given me wasn’t helping one iota. I couldn’t reach out to anyone on the leadership team as they were in a similar position to the Executive of assessing my capabilities to see it I would survive (or so I thought). My savior came in the form of the Executive Admin. She was a stellar performer who knew the ins and outs of the operation as well as the unique needs of the Executive we both supported. I sat down with her and got really vulnerable. I told her my frustrations, my fears and said that I needed her help. Thank goodness she was a person of extremely high character. Immediately, we started building a plan to get out in front… way in front of the Executive… 3 months to be exact. We wanted to make sure that we were always talking about things that were 1/4 of a year away to ensure we had ample time to prepare and exceed our Executive’s expectations.

My next course of action came in response to another mis-step I had made. I was facilitating the monthly full-day business meeting for the leadership team where each business unit reports out on the status of the business. At one point in the meeting, the Executive asked one of the members of his leadership team for an update regarding a request he had made a few weeks back. The member of the leadership team was stumped and had no update at which point the Executive looked at me and to which I instinctively replied, “Wait, that’s not my fault.” NOT…GOOD! This was a moment of weakness for me and to this day I still find it hard to write the words! How could I say such a thing? Easy… it’s what I was thinking. For many of us, the words “that’s not my job” or “that’s wasn’t my fault” aren’t spoken because we are being diplomatic but it doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking it. For me, I said it out loud and that meant I had to face the fact that I was thinking it. That day, I made the decision to change my mindset. From then on, my new slogan was “It’s my fault, now what’s the problem?”

Initially, the leadership team thought it was cute… a way to pay penance for the political mis-step I had made in the meeting. However, over time, the team realized that I meant it. I had learned to see how in almost every situation there is probably something I could have done to make it better. Rather than trying to identify excuses as to how something wasn’t my fault, I flipped the script and identified how it was my fault. This did three things: First, it took the burden off of everyone to find a scapegoat and we were able to quickly move past the problem to start focusing on the solution. Second, I gained a great deal of trust with the leadership team. They knew I would take a bullet for them and therefore they were that much more willing to support any requests I might have of them. Last but not least, I learned accountability… and with accountability came ownership… and with ownership came curiosity and creativity and ultimately innovation… all traits which I leverage every day to lead my business.

In the end, the mindset shift of “it’s not my fault” to “it’s my fault, now what’s the problem?” moved me from victim to owner… from mediocre to strong. This isn’t the only mindset shift I have made… it is one of many that I have made and will continue to make for the rest of my life. What mindset shifts do you need to make you stronger?

We have all heard the saying “Feedback is a gift.” While we can all agree that feedback is usually a great thing, calling it a gift feels like a bit of a stretch… especially when it is constructive in nature. However, no matter how painful it is, feedback is important because it increases our self-awareness. Self-awareness is critically important in our maturing process and is the fundamental building block of personal and professional development. I talked in a prior post about self-awareness and how we must actively seek feedback if we want to get better. For me this realization became very clear when reflecting on a moment I had out on the bike as a cyclist (see “Your tail light is out” from August 2nd).

Most of us want to be viewed in a positive light by others and are content to go through life hoping or assuming that is the case. And since many of us are not necessarily in the practice of regularly seeking feedback, the thought of opening ourselves up to a consistent stream of commentary regarding where we fall short doesn’t seem ideal so we often unintentionally walk around blind to how others perceive us. Sure, receiving honest feedback may be damaging to your self-esteem, however avoiding the feedback all together is like avoiding mirrors because you’d rather assume you look good.

The challenge is that as we become more successful in life, we are less likely to receive feedback. In the case of leaders, just by nature of their position, people feel less comfortable providing truly authentic feedback. So the question becomes, how can leaders ensure they are routinely exposing themselves to feedback, no mater how uncomfortable it may be, to ensure they continue to become a better version of themselves? One such way is the dreaded 360.

The 360 gets its name from the view that it gives a person of themselves… a 360 degree view. Said another way, it allows a person to see how they show up to different populations versus how they think they show up. Typically a person or survey subject will select as raters their direct supervisor, peers and direct reports. The survey subject will also complete the survey on themselves. Seems simple right? Then why is it that this tool strikes terror in the hearts of most people? The answer is most likely in the delivery. Face to face, people may either sugar coat their feedback or just chose to avoid any constructive criticism all together (especially if you are the type of person who doesn’t receive it well). Alternatively, the 360 is anonymous which means people can really let loose without any fear of hurting your feelings or retaliation.

The great part of the 360 is that it gives you a chance to see the difference in how various populations see you. Is there a big gap between how your manager sees you vs. your peers? Do your direct reports see you differently than you see yourself? Where are you perceived as strong, where are you perceived as weak, etc.? There are many different things to look at. What becomes challenging is what to do about it. Many times I have seen a survey subject receive some really tough feedback and decide to reinvent themselves. They spend 6 months transforming themselves into a different person only to find out that the new and improved version is just as ineffective. A good example of this is a leader whom I recently had the privilege of coaching.

A few years back, she had received a pretty clear message in a 360 that she was micro managing her direct reports. In response, she decided to really step back from the day to day operations and give her team space and autonomy. Her plan was well crafted and she diligently held to it. A year later the 360 process came around again and she was sure the results would be great. She had certainly fixed the micro management issue however now the feedback indicated that she seemed disconnected from the team and that she wasn’t effectively driving high performance. Frustrated, she went back to her standard operating procedure. When I sat down with her we discussed her challenges and the journey she had been on. It was clear that her original plan wasn’t the best approach for her but she didn’t know what else to do. The subsequent process that I took her through transformed the way that I handle 360s to this day.

We talked about her instincts and the fact that she loves the process of taking things from good to great. Being certified as a Gallup Strengths Coach, the narrative rang a bell for me so I had her take the Clifton Strengths Finder assessment. The results were illuminating. Her number one strength theme was Maximizer (Clifton Strengths Finder has 34 strength themes and the assessment ranks the themes for an individual from top to bottom). In the description of Maximizer is the phrase “seeks to transform something strong into something superb.” When we talked through how this shows up in her daily work she quickly realized that she was instinctively “Maximizing” ALL of the work products of her team. For her this was fun and she felt like she was adding tons of value but her team perceived it was wiping their finger prints off of their work. Ultimately, they wondered why they even wasted their time on the task at all and labeled her a micro manager. The solution she came up with was easy… prioritize those things which she needed to “maximize” and be intentional about the times when she should leave well enough alone. It took some practice but today she now leverages her Maximizer strength much more effectively and her feedback has vastly improved.

The outcome of this experience was a new approach that I’ve developed using 360s and Strengths Finder where:

360 = how you show up

Strengths = why you show up that way

At the end of the day, the feedback we receive in a 360 can be rattling. However, when considered in the context of our strengths, the feedback becomes much more digestible and actionable.

For more information on this approach, please email me at 45leadership@gmail.com.

I’m an avid cyclist which means I spend lots of time on the road battling the terrain as well as traffic. Growing up in the suburbs of New York and now Atlanta I often times feel like I spend more time engaging in the later. Having a very active family life with a wife and two growing boys at home whom I love spending time with, many of my rides put me on the road before the sun comes up. While wearing bright colors is a marginal help, a strong lighting system with headlight and tail light are critical for my safety for these pre-dawn rides.

One morning, I was out on the road and hammering (riding very hard as we like to call it in cycling terms) which means I was in a rather intense mental state. For those who know me, this doesn’t require you to stretch your imagination too far. Anyway, I had just made a right hand turn onto a busy road. It has two lanes going in either direction and is a main thoroughfare for those commuting to work from the northern suburbs into the city of Atlanta. For me this stretch of road presents a somewhat precarious situation as I have about a quarter mile to get myself across two of the lanes of traffic so that I can make a left hand turn and escape the madness of the morning commuters.

As usual on this particular morning, immediately after making the right hand turn onto the busy stretch, I work like crazy to get my machine up to speed so that I can get across the two lanes of traffic without creating too much of an inconvenience for the drivers. Typically, I am able to telegraph my movements to the drivers and, in turn, they allow me to quickly shift across their lane to arrive “safely” in the left hand turning lane up ahead.

On this morning, I found it particularly challenging to find a driver who would permit my lane change. Once I finally asserted myself, the driver who was now behind me began flashing their lights and beeping at me. This spectacle is not totally uncommon as some drivers feel that cyclists have no place on the road and fail to suppress the urge to express their opinion. I thought this was one of those people having one of those moments.

Being in the “hammering” mindset, I was filled with righteous indignation toward the driver. My thoughts consisted of statements such as:

“HOW DARE they ATTACK my rightful position on road!”

“Poor baby had to endure the dreaded activity of moving their right foot from the accelerator to lightly depress the brake pedal… how trying!”

“Don’t they know how hard I am working and all of the effort that this takes!”

“Maybe if they got off their lazy….”

You get the hint.

As much as all of these thoughts entered my mind and I boiled with anger, I kept it to myself and used it to fuel my effort which was substantial at the moment.

I got into the turning lane, made the left hand turn off of the commuting artery and, much to my surprise, the car operated by the boisterous driver made the turn as well. Immediately I thought, “Oh ok, LET’S DO THIS!” Just to give you an idea of how irrational this thought was… I am 155 lbs… on a 15 lb bike… wearing spandex, a silly looking helmet and cycling shoes which provide zero grip or stability when not attached to the bike pedals… not exactly a match for a few thousand pound car operated by a person of unknown size or strength but apparently enough testosterone to experience high levels of anger and frustration before 7am. So if we were to “DO THIS!”… the story is probably not going to turn out so well for me.

The driver, now considered the aggressor from my perspective, pulls up next to me. I am prepared to sling insults at the driver without regard for the ramifications (or the fact that I probably won’t be able to get coherent words out since my current heart rate is currently 170 bpm.). Just as I am ready to let loose, I sense that the driver is not actually agitated. I can see a facial expression that is more… concerned. I hear the words, “We can’t see you.” Still in my offended state, I yell back “I have a tail light!” The driver replies, “It’s not working!” I look toward my back tire and, to my horror and embarrassment, she is right… my tail light is out.

Before I can muster the words to thank her, she continues down the road and drives away. To this day I feel totally embarrassed for my thoughts toward this good Samaritan who had the decency to alter her early morning commute in order to deliver an absolutely critical message to a jerk in spandex.

After waiting on the side of the road for the sun to come up that morning, I made my way back to the office safe and sound. Later that day I bought two new tail lights: one to use and the other as a backup to keep on me in case one goes out. I told myself that I would never allow that to happen again. However, it wasn’t until months later that I realized the larger lesson in this experience.

The tail light experience popped into my head on numerous other occasions and finally one day I asked myself these questions:

• In what other areas of my life is my tail light out and I am ignoring the warnings from those around me?
• Am I hearing the equivalent of the beeping horns and seeing the flashing lights from my peers, team members, wife, kids, etc.?
• And if so am I receiving their warnings as attacks and giving in to that all to familiar self-defense narrative in my mind… “don’t they understand…”, “how dare they…”, “if they only knew….”, etc.?

Right now if you’re asking yourself, “Do I do that?”, the answer is easy. Of course you do… we ALL do. Every time feedback hits me I want to defend my position, build my argument and mount a counterattack…. the only problem is that it isn’t a counterattack because in reality I’m not countering an attack. I am just attacking. And worse yet, I’m attacking those who are actually trying to help. So what can we do?

First, we need to let go of the idea that we can be without fault. Yes, you work hard. Yes, most of us are well intentioned most of the time. Yes your context and perspective is not known to all. However, we are all imperfect. And with imperfection comes the need to recognize where and when we fall short. This is called self-awareness. Without it, we are lost and will never develop beyond who we are today.

Second, we have to be attentive to what others around us are saying and, more importantly, we have to be intentional about our reaction; both outwardly and inwardly.

Third, if we want to avoid the beeping horns and flashing lights, we have to proactively seek feedback. There are tons of ways to do this from having regular one to one chats with a few trusted advisors to activating an anonymous 360 survey.

Here’s the main point: If you think this doesn’t apply to you, YOU are the very person who needs this most.

I’ve gotten a few emails from people asking what VUCA is. Since it’s in my headline, I figure it’s a good idea to add some clarity.

In short, it is a military term that originated in the 90’s and stands for environments which are Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous.

Here’s a quick post in wikipedia about it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volatility,_uncertainty,_complexity_and_ambiguity

We can all agree that no matter what sector or industry we work in, volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity are the new norm and whether we are on the frontline in a warehouse or sitting at the helm of an international organization, knowing how to operate in these new conditions is critical to our success.

So you stumbled upon this site called “Fortified Leadership” and you are wondering why you are here and why should you come back.  The answer is simple.  In today’s world leaders need to be strong.  Not perfect.  Strong.  We all want to be strong.  No one wakes up in the morning and says, “Today, I’d like to be weak.”  If you do, this isn’t the place for you…. or maybe it’s EXACTLY the place for you!

Long story short, I have launched Fortified Leadership because I am passionate about helping people become stronger…. stronger leaders, stronger friends, stronger dads, stronger moms, stronger husbands, stronger wives, stronger sons, stronger daughters…  the list goes on and on.  The posts you will find here will be inspiring, entertaining, thoughtful but most importantly, simple and action oriented.

The source? I am a guy with significant experience in executive coaching and large scale project management… very large scale… like orchestrating-and-executing-a-headquarter-relocation-1000-miles large scale.  I’ve also logged hundreds of hours of executive and team performance coaching.  Currently, I lead a team of professionals tasked with organizational transformation at a large international company.  My journey has been fascinating and loads of fun.  I have made tons of mistakes and have led teams to significant victories.  This blog will feature insights and thoughts gained from the highs and lows of the journey.

In the end, my hope is that some of the writings here will inspire you to develop an even stronger version of yourself as you build an amazing legacy.