I started Fortified Leadership because I am passionate about helping people become stronger… stronger leaders, stronger friends, stronger dads, stronger moms, stronger spouses, stronger sons, stronger daughters…. So far I’ve written about how successful leaders channel their inner toddler to be stronger in the 10 part series titled The Toddler Executive (April 12th – July 22nd). I’ve also written on the topic if self-awareness as the first step to being stronger with “You’re tail light is out!” (August 2nd) and “A strength over-utilized…” (August 16th). While self-awareness is the critical first step in becoming a stronger version of yourself, it isn’t the only step. It is only once you go through the cyclical process of shifting your mindset, engaging in developmental activities then further shifting your mindset, that you will experience transformation. It’s a lot like working out. You do an exercise and it causes your muscles to adapt and grow. You then add more weight, more reps or make the movement more complex in order to further stimulate the muscles and create additional adaptation. Over time, this process will create a physical transformation. Personal and professional development is no different. With all that said, the next few posts will cycle back and forth between the topics of mindset shift and development. Today, we’ll talk mindset….
I had just moved into a new role working for a high profile executive. My assignment was somewhat of that of a chief of staff for the Executive and would afford me the opportunity of working directly with an extremely talented leadership team. My first few weeks in the job were tumultuous. In one conversation, the Executive said “I need you to be 3 steps in front of me and at this point you are 5 steps behind. If you can’t get up to speed I will find someone who can.” There was no ramp-up time… it was hit the ground running or find a new job. BTW, we had a newborn at home which raised the stakes a bit… no stress though right?
Until this point I had been what most companies would deem a “hi-po” employee meaning I was thought to have high potential for leadership roles in the company. As a “Type A” personality, I had excelled in most things I had done in my life so this experience of being “on the ropes” was unfamiliar and uncomfortable to say the least. I knew I needed to do something. First, I updated my resume 😁. However, I really enjoyed working for the company so this step was just me preparing for the worst given the recent new addition to our family. I also didn’t have a desire to leave in disgrace as a failure. Therefore, my second task was to crack the code of being successful in this role… I had to find a new way of operating.
As I thought through my difficulties I kept stumbling over the narrative that this wasn’t my fault. My mind kept saying things like:
“This guy’s expectations are just crazy… totally unreasonable!”
“How am I supposed to know what to do? Mind-reader WAS NOT in the JD!”
“No one trained me for this!”
All of these thoughts placed me in the role of victim. While this may have felt good for my ego, it wasn’t going to help me succeed. I needed to change my mindset and my approach.
My first course of action was to identify help. I was clearly missing something and l didn’t even know where to start. The guidance my predecessor had given me wasn’t helping one iota. I couldn’t reach out to anyone on the leadership team as they were in a similar position to the Executive of assessing my capabilities to see it I would survive (or so I thought). My savior came in the form of the Executive Admin. She was a stellar performer who knew the ins and outs of the operation as well as the unique needs of the Executive we both supported. I sat down with her and got really vulnerable. I told her my frustrations, my fears and said that I needed her help. Thank goodness she was a person of extremely high character. Immediately, we started building a plan to get out in front… way in front of the Executive… 3 months to be exact. We wanted to make sure that we were always talking about things that were 1/4 of a year away to ensure we had ample time to prepare and exceed our Executive’s expectations.
My next course of action came in response to another mis-step I had made. I was facilitating the monthly full-day business meeting for the leadership team where each business unit reports out on the status of the business. At one point in the meeting, the Executive asked one of the members of his leadership team for an update regarding a request he had made a few weeks back. The member of the leadership team was stumped and had no update at which point the Executive looked at me and to which I instinctively replied, “Wait, that’s not my fault.” NOT…GOOD! This was a moment of weakness for me and to this day I still find it hard to write the words! How could I say such a thing? Easy… it’s what I was thinking. For many of us, the words “that’s not my job” or “that’s wasn’t my fault” aren’t spoken because we are being diplomatic but it doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking it. For me, I said it out loud and that meant I had to face the fact that I was thinking it. That day, I made the decision to change my mindset. From then on, my new slogan was “It’s my fault, now what’s the problem?”
Initially, the leadership team thought it was cute… a way to pay penance for the political mis-step I had made in the meeting. However, over time, the team realized that I meant it. I had learned to see how in almost every situation there is probably something I could have done to make it better. Rather than trying to identify excuses as to how something wasn’t my fault, I flipped the script and identified how it was my fault. This did three things: First, it took the burden off of everyone to find a scapegoat and we were able to quickly move past the problem to start focusing on the solution. Second, I gained a great deal of trust with the leadership team. They knew I would take a bullet for them and therefore they were that much more willing to support any requests I might have of them. Last but not least, I learned accountability… and with accountability came ownership… and with ownership came curiosity and creativity and ultimately innovation… all traits which I leverage every day to lead my business.
In the end, the mindset shift of “it’s not my fault” to “it’s my fault, now what’s the problem?” moved me from victim to owner… from mediocre to strong. This isn’t the only mindset shift I have made… it is one of many that I have made and will continue to make for the rest of my life. What mindset shifts do you need to make you stronger?