“Frankly my dear….” Directness of communication
Toddlers don’t only say the darnedest things… they often say the most embarrassing things. Case in point:
When my brother was young, he was at our grand parent’s house for a day. Important context here is that we grew up in a house that was meticulously kept. He was sitting in the living room playing with some Matchbox cars on the coffee table when he realized the car tires left tracks on the table. Curious, he whipped his finger on the table and realized there was a slight layer of dust which the wheels of the toy car disturbed to make the tracks. He then adjusted his position and pivoted himself toward the kitchen where our grandmother was making dinner and inquired “is anybody gonna dust around here?”
Direct communication for toddlers is a mixture of not understanding the concepts of diplomacy and tact as well as gut instinct. Whether we like it or not, the most embarrassing part of toddlers speaking their mind is that they are usually stating something that is true. Sometimes it is something obvious like a less than meticulously kept home but other times it is something else like the feeling they get from someone… when we get older we call this a “gut reaction”.
So when we think about executives, we can somewhat rule out a deficiency in tact and diplomacy as most executives are experts in this arena. But what out going with your gut and cutting to the chase?
We’ve all seen the hit shows “Shark Tank” and “The Profit” which essentially celebrate the brightest business minds and their ability to cut through the clutter and noise that usually surrounds business to get to the root of a valuation. The reason we like watching these shows is because these executives are able to do something that the rest of us find quite challenging. They can sense the true story using their business sense or “gut”. This sense does nothing without an ability to be direct, ask tough questions and say things no one else is willing to.
The directness of communication that an executive exhibits in both their line of questioning and general assessments is not born out of rudeness (usually) but rather necessity. If they ask the right question and pressure test the right areas they can truly understand the health of what they are assessing and make the best decision for their organization. So what does this translate in to?
For the Executive: It is indeed a fine line between being direct and being rude. Ensure it is the prior and not the later.
For those working with Executives: You should always anticipate the directness. If you go into the conversation with an executive assuming it will be sugar plums and candy canes, you are mistaken and are in for a rude awakening. Arm yourself with the facts and get ready for a brutally honest dialogue.
For those looking to develop as an Executive: Speaking with candor is not easy. We’ve learned to be extremely sensitive to the feelings of those around us and this sensitivity is a good thing however it can get in our way of saying what actually needs to be said. If you are looking to develop as an Executive it will be critical to understand the nuances of when sensitivity is needed and when it is time to be direct… just being able to make this distinction is a great place to start.
For parents of Toddlers: Learn how to apologize to strangers… you’ll be doing it on occasion.