Month: June 2018

DO IT NOW: Level of patience

One of the hallmark characteristics of the Toddler is a fundamental lacking of patience. As an infant, we come into this world with a powerful ability to get what we want, when we want it. Initially this ability is critical to our survival and is executed through the use blood curdling screams that will make the parent do what ever it takes to make it stop! It results in prompt feeding, diaper changes, and adequate rest for the growing human. As time goes on, the infant develops into a toddler, however, the level of patience stays pretty much the same. That is until we, as parents, step in to correct the behavior. It’s physics… an object in motion will stay in motion until acted upon by an equal or greater than opposing force.

There’s no denying that a lack of patience gets results. Similar to toddlers, executives often seemingly exhibit a very limited amount of patience. Why? It makes us quick. The organization a leader leads is typically active with many different things. If the leader positions a new request or direction in a “get to it when you get to it” way, you can all but guarantee that this task will never get done as those items which are positioned as urgent will take priority. So the Executive must fight fire with fire and therefore create urgency to ensure his or her priorities are in fact a priority for the organization they lead.

That being said, we all know that patience is a virtue and therefore how can we reconcile this apparent contradiction?

For the Executive: As a leader you must ruthlessly prioritize. Identify those things which are a priority and set challenging timelines. This will ensure your team understands the urgency and will plan and execute accordingly. HOWEVER, BE CAREFUL! You must use this tactic sparingly. If you fail to prioritize and create challenging false deadlines on everything, you will burn your teams out and, worse, injure your credibility with the team. Ultimately, they will start questioning the why behind everything they are tasked with.

For those working with Executives: Try not to mistaken the Executive’s perceived impatience as immaturity. In many cases, the Executive is quite calculated in their approach. On the other hand, if it seems as though everything is urgent, it may be important to communicate the current strain on the team and seek additional understanding related to the priority of the task at hand vs other work in progress.

For those looking to develop as an Executive: Being overly understanding and patient will not drive high performance. Leaders become executives because they know how to create high performance teams. They do so with a skilled blend of patience and urgency. Master this and you are well on your way to the C-Suite.

For parents of Toddlers: Patience is a virtue. Teach your children how to wait. A great opportunity is when you are talking to another adult. There are so many times that our kids would just start talking to us and asking questions in the middle of my wife and I having a conversation. While it would be much easier to stop our conversation to answer the simple question, it is imperative that we lean in and swiftly correct the behavior and teach them to be patient and wait until we are done with our conversation.

IT WILL BE OPTION 1: Appetite for compromise

A number of the similarities which we have already covered contained a common theme… lack of desire for compromise. You can see this in Part 1 related to chasing after big dreams as well as Part 4 regarding the reaction to the word “No”. The appetite for compromise in the Executive and the Toddler is quite similar. Just think about the parent at the mall trying to negotiate with their knee-high Neanderthal. The parent is usually trying to employ your run-of-the-mill reasoning tactics to appeal to the rational side of their little one. The toddler of course is not having it and, with each passing moment, his or her emotional stability is spiraling downward. More later on how to handle this.

The Executive once again bears striking resemblance. The exact reaction of a full blown tantrum might not be identical, but the appetite is similar. Most Executives when faced with compromise immediately feel the pressure of competing priorities. The person who is proposing alternatives has in mind a more optimal solution based on their vantage point. However, the Executive is usually going in another direction given the perspectives that he or she is currently aware of. Quickly the Executive must weigh the various priorities and stakeholders and identify the optimal way forward. The challenge here is that the Executive is usually already aware of the perspective being brought before him or her and is therefore in the uncomfortable spot of holding firm to their initial decision regardless of how impassioned the person is who is sitting across the table. Being short on time, the Executive sees this as a potential waste of time and valuable energy. The resulting behavior by the Exec is often times perceived as hard-headed or having a lack of empathy. While this perception is somewhat faulty it can still injure the Executive’s persona. It can also hinder the organizational effectiveness of the larger team if employees are not seeing the wisdom in the Executive’s direction. So what to do…

For the Executive: As an Executive you have the advantage of seeing the full picture. While it is time consuming to provide the full context behind all decisions, it is important for employees to understand why you are making the decision you are making. Your time investment in the short term will pay dividends in that your team will become more educated about the broader context and understand the intent behind the decisions you are making. In the end, they will start bringing proposals that more closely align and only those situations which truly require compromise will come to your desk.

For those working with Executives: Start by assuming the best. In many instances, the information you have may make the Executive’s unwillingness to compromise seem unreasonable. However, if there is some other piece of information that you do not have, the Executive’s resistance may not only be reasonable but the wisest course of action.

For those looking to develop as an Executive: Compromise is a necessary and often times beneficial process in the business world. As an Executive in training, if you will, you must learn how to take in different perspectives, assess what is the best course of action and make the call. Sometimes you will not be the most popular person for your decisions but as the Executive you need to learn to make tough calls for what is right. The most important piece here is learning what, in fact, is right. This comes down to principles. The strongest leaders have a fundamental set of principles by which they operate. They use these principles to guide their decisions. When people around them understand what their principles are, it is easier for them to anticipate that decisions you will make. Long story short… if you haven’t already identified your core principles, you should start doing so today. There are a number of different ways to go about doing this. Most start with identifying what you value most and going from there. Maybe a good topic of a later post….

For parents of Toddlers: You must reverse the script here. There is no compromising with the Toddler. No mater how much you give, they will always want more. Remember that you are the boss and you know best. Your best bet is to hold firm from the onset. If your toddler thinks that compromise is an option, you’ll be in for a long battle ahead.