YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Typically, when I am in a meeting or listening to a presentation, I do my best to understand the full context of the what is being discussed. I try to get the facts into my head, process them and organize them into a story line. I listen as if I am going to have to reteach whatever it is the presenter is talking about or what is being covered in the meeting. Sometimes I get lost. This frustrates the heck out of me and I try to search for the facts which I might have missed along the way.
Executives and Toddlers alike don’t behave this way. If they don’t understand what you are talking about, it’s your fault, not theirs.
Going back to my last post, “SO MANY QUESTIONS,” I get worn out when my Toddler starts asking too many questions. So I start getting lazy. In my laziness I start not describing things fully. When I do this, it just causes him to ask more questions… and rightfully so. I didn’t explain it well. Ultimately, he just wants to understand and when I leave gaps, he doesn’t care whether it’s his fault or my fault for those gaps, he just knows he wants to understand. The Executive, as you may have guessed, is the same.
When you present to an Executive, they feel a responsibility to understand the topic so they can test it for quality and make a decision if that is what you are seeking. They have a limited amount of time to grasp the topic so they are looking for simplicity. Albert Einstein’s quote, “If you can’t explain something simply, you don’t understand it well enough,” hits the nail on the head here. If the Executive can’t grasp the story, they begin to question your grasp of the topic thereby calling into question your expertise, design and intent of what you are presenting. Executives don’t want you to be clear and concise because they are mean people who don’t like you. They need you to be brief so that they can do THEIR job. But what separates the Execs and Toddlers from everyone else in this area? In most cases… confidence.
When we place the burden on ourselves to understand a poorly delivered message, we do so because we think something is deficient in our processing. We think something is wrong with us. The Executive and the Toddler alike, don’t see it that way. They are confident in their ability to understand and therefore if they aren’t grasping what you are presenting, you must be at fault.
So what can we learn from this?
For the Executive: Continue to seek to understand. For those who fall short, give them feedback… but be clear with the feedback. Just like you expect your team members to explain things simply to you, you need to put in the effort to provide the feedback simply to them.
For those working with Executives: Sometimes we feel pressured to show people how strong our expertise is by going into depth on a topic knowing our audience can’t necessarily follow us there. In fact, some people actually do this on purpose (many college professors come to my mind). This, however, is driven from insecurity and our desire to prove ourselves. Resist the urge. Einstein was a pretty smart dude and if he favored simplicity, it’s safe to say that he was right.
For those looking to develop as an Executive: If you suddenly find yourself not understanding a presentation or a topic, do your best to hone in one where the gap is and identify the right question to ask to see if the presenter can fill the gap. If they do, great! If they can’t, you just uncovered a flaw in their logic and your question might cause the team to rethink their approach and create a better product or solution.
For parents of Toddlers: When the questions start coming, get on eye level with the little guy or gal, and lean in on really explaining the topic well. In the end, you’ll find that the exercise of doing so actually helps you understand the topic even better than before. If you can’t, ask Siri ; )