SO… MANY… QUESTIONS!
Toddler: “What’s that?” (spoken from the backseat of the car while parent is driving)
Parent: “What’s what?”
Toddler: “That.” (pointing while the parent still can’t see them)
Parent: “What, the yellow sign?”
Toddler: “Yes.”
Parent: “That’s a warning sign.”
Toddler: “What is warning?”
Parent: “A warning is a caution not to do something.”
Toddler: “What does caution mean?”
Parent: “It means be careful.”
Toddler: “Of what?”
Parent: “Well that sign means don’t go too fast.”
Toddler: “Were you going too fast?”
Parent: “No.” (parent lying)
Toddler: “How do you know?”
Parent: “Because my speedometer told me I wasn’t.”
Toddler: “What’s a speedometer?”
Parent: “Shows how fast I am going.”
Toddler: “How?”
Parent: “It counts how many times the wheels of the car rotate.” (Parent thinking to themselves – “Wait, is that how it actually works?”)
Toddler: “What does rotate mean?”
Parent: (Still thinking if that is how the car measures speed) “Rotate is the wheel going round and round.”
Toddler: “Oh. Why is the sign yellow?”
And on… and on… and on.
We actually brought a counter on a 5 hour road trip. Our 5 year old asked over 300 questions during the ride… and he slept for two hours of it.
Toddlers have a innate curiosity. And they have lots to learn! Initially it is cute and we enjoy going through the process of passing knowledge to our future generation. However, it gets old… quick! Moreover it’s HARD! Sometimes we don’t know why.. it just IS!
Executives are surprisingly similar. When you present a topic, they want to know more. So they ask a question. You’re surprised by the question but you answer it and are happy to do so because you’re excited that they are taking interest in what you are working on. For the next few moments you think you are important. Then the next question comes. This one is a bit harder and you hesitate slightly with your answer. The Executive now senses some insecurity. They ask another question, this time more pointed trying to get to the root of what you are talking about. You answer back, with a bit of tension in your voice and more briefly trying to avoid having to go into any further detail. The Executive senses your desire to end the conversation and thinks you are now trying to hide an operational issue or previously unrealized fault with your task or topic. The Executive takes a firmer stance now and starts asking for more specific details. You don’t even have these details baked yet and you begin to wonder why you are talking to an Executive about something that isn’t fully baked. You start to freak out knowing that you are face planting…. Initially you wanted to impress and now you’re just trying not to destroy your career.
Toddlers and Executives have an innate curiosity that drives them to learn things as quickly as possible. They can sense when they aren’t getting the full story merely because they are really trying to understand. This desire to understand leads them down a path of harmless inquiry. When this happens it can be exhausting if you are not thoughtful about your approach.
Curiosity is a wonderful thing that has driven every invention in history but we have to learn how to respond to the curious to yield the best possible results. Here’s some tips:
For the parents of toddlers: You’re instinct after about the 5th or 6th question (for those of you who are patient) will be to just blurt out “BECAUSE IT JUST IS!” While it is important for your kids to respect your sanity, it is also important to not squash their inquisitive nature as it is how they learn and we want our kids to be life long learners. Here’s another option: Create an exit strategy for the inevitable “20 questions”. For example, I like to use one tactic called “Turn the tables”. It goes like this. When I start to feel my patience wearing thin, I answer my kid’s questions with questions and start asking them question after question. This puts all of the questions to a quick stop and restores the delightful silence I once enjoyed many years ago ; )
For the Executive: Keep asking. It’s how you make your team better.
For those working with Executives: First, IF you are going to give your elevator pitch, have your story straight! If you don’t, steer clear. Period.
Second, there is always the possibility of standing next to the Executive at lunch and he or she might pop a question about THAT project. To avoid this, always be armed with a good question to ask the Executive. I call this the preemptive strike. Feel free to use it.
For those looking to develop as an Executive: Cultivate your curiosity. Learn to ask great questions. Always be seeking to understand and ask questions to ensure you have the right understanding. I’ll build a bit more on this in the next part called “YOU CAN”T HANDLE THE TRUTH”.